Dead Man Walking

This was the session that really spoke to me about my own life.. and it was this session that got me thinking a lot about my walk with God.

The title of the GC conference that I went to in Seattle was "Embrace Grace". It opened my eyes to see and understand what 'grace' really is. We all KNOW about grace - something we don't deserve but yet is offered to us. But how many really UNDERSTAND grace? That we REALLY don't need to earn it. It's there for us - freely given, freely receive. Grace IS God... and He's there for us to receive. How marvellous that the Creator of the UNIVERSE lets Himself be so readily available for us - mere humans, whose existence on earth is but fleeting. Just thinking about it kinda blows your mind a little out of proportion. And if you keep meditating on it, you realise that it starts to overtake your mind and your perspectives on life changes... and it alters, transforms. It's AMAZING GRACE...

In this conference, there was this session called "Dead Man Walking" by Pas Joel Stockstill and it really spoke to me. It was about how we are to be like Dead Men Walking. Why? Because our lives don't belong to us. And there is such liberty in walking like that. When you subject yourself to be 'dead', you really place yourself entirely in the hands of God. Nothing about you is you anymore. So you don't have to worry about your future, what tomorrow brings, your problems and cares, what about, what if... because you're not you! When you choose to live like that, it becomes liberating... not stifling... because you KNOW you're in good hands of one who loves you more than life itself.

"It is impossible for you to do what you want to do AND do what God wants you to do - unless you're DEAD. Then what you want to do will be ALL that God wants. Because you're DEAD, everything about you will be Him."

How absolutely true. It really got me thinking. This is what dying to yourself means. When Jesus was alive, He was a dead man walking. He knew His destiny was death on the cross but yet nevertheless, he was 'dead' to Himself and all that was Him was His Father's Will. 

And when I reflect about my life and my attitude to the things around me, I told God I want to strive to be a dead man. I know in my heart and flesh that I will struggle against it, I will argue my way through, rationalise, but this is my desire and I pray that the grace of God will help me get there... so that all I am will be all that He wants me to be.

As I examine my life, these were some of the things that really spoke to me:

1) Repentance is a lifestyle. It's not just a prayer you say when you accept Christ. When the Holy Spirit convicts, repent immediately. The more you fight Him, the easier it is to forget Him. 

2) Rebellion sometimes has little to do with sin. It can be a bad attitude. (Ouch! That hurts!) God, help me with that because I know I fall into that all too easily...

3) A dead person does not belong to this world... and the world cannot affect a dead person. How true. If you're dead, then no matter how much the world tries to get into you, it just will not and cannot do anything to you. You're... errr... DEAD! So factual but so difficult to understand sometimes. 

4) Your will ultimately determines how much ground you give to the Lord or to yourself. You can do something, but unless your will does it, you didn't do it. Wow... 

5) Brokenness is the ability to stay silent when given a command, being mistreated, or even falsely accused. It is being dead to your rights and privileges while being daily sensitized to the ever present guiding of the Holy Spirit. Digest this...

Help me Lord, because I can't do this on my own.

You've stolen my heart, yes, You have

You've wiped away the stains, You've broke away the chains

Yes, You have

This is all for You

You're the King of the world

-Leeland, "Yes, You Have"-