Ode to the Piano

I miss my piano. I do. I miss the ivory  and ebony keys. I miss being able to play the piano as and when i want to. I miss trying out new progressions, figuring out a song, a tune, anything.

My room is too small for a decent keyboard... and so is my hall. My Yamaha Upright is sitting in my aunt's house - neglected, abandoned and cloaked in dust, I'm sure.

AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

One of the ways I relieve tension is playing on my piano. I remember the times when I take breaks between studying and marking just to sit at the piano and play away...  I miss my piano. Words don't do it justice...

And listening to music all the time does not hel. "Great song! Lemme try to play it." RUDE SHOCK - the piano ISN'T THERE! I open Garage Band on my mac and pathetically plonk away on my qwerty keyboard, pretending I'm actually playing. It's disgusting... my piano feels PLASTIC... I'm typing my music... 

I miss my piano...

 

Just keep looking up

I'm back. I figured if I'm gonna start blogging, then I should at least try to keep it alive on a monthly basis.

Tonight, I came to terms with many things...

1) I realised people find me intimidating. I'm like "Huh?!? You gotta be kidding me." But apparently, it's been observed to be a fact of life. It's been a perennial problem in my relating with others. "Am I really?", I ask myself. (ok, no, don't answer that) Apparently it's the way I talk, and the way that I just am - PAM. I find it slightly disturbing...

2) I miss my friends. I really, really miss talking to them and just pouring my heart out. I haven't done that in a long long while. Plus, they don't find me intimidating. I haven't been talking much. Complaining doesn't count. (plus, I'm not allowed to do that anymore) But, talking... I think that's ok, right? I haven't been talking. I miss having ppl that are predictable. I don't have to guess how they would react, respond... because I know. I'm a little tired of unpredictability... 

3) I really need space. Not the "I'm a few inches larger than normal, so I need space" kinda thing... but I need psychological and emotional space. That's REALLY important to me. I think when that gets crowded out with things, people, work, entertainment (yes, even entertainment), I get discontented with my present state of being. It's like some yellow caution sign just before it turns red. Ok. I need to do something about my time.

4) I will miss my parents terribly one day.

5) I am human... and GOD, ... is GOD.

6) And so I need to keep looking up.